Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to.
- Bill Vaughn - In Old Age
|
An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.
- Bill Vaughn - In Old Age
|
The groundhog is like most other prophets; it delivers its prediction and then disappears.
- Bill Vaughn - In Old Age
|
We hope that, when the insects take over the world, they will remember with gratitude how we took them along on all our picnics.
- Bill Vaughn - In Old Age
|
People learn something every day, and a lot of times it's that what they learned the day before was wrong.
- Bill Vaughn - In Old Age
|
Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.
- Bill Vaughn - In Old Age
|
A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote in a national election.
- Bill Vaughn - In Old Age
|
If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist, it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity.
- Bill Vaughn - In Old Age
|
It would be nice if the poor were to get even half of the money that is spent in studying them.
- Bill Vaughn - In Old Age
|
The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas.
- Bill Vaughn - In Old Age
|
Muscles come and go; flab lasts.
- Bill Vaughn - In Old Age
|
It's hard for the modern generation to understand Thoreau, who lived beside a pond but didn't own water skis or a snorkel.
- Bill Vaughn - In Old Age
|
The whale is endangered, while the ant continues to do just fine.
- Bill Vaughn - In Old Age
|
The tax collector must love poor people - he's creating so many of them.
- Bill Vaughn - In Old Age
|
Maybe the answer to Selective Service is to start everyone off in the army and draft them for civilian life as needed.
- Bill Vaughn - In Old Age
|
I'm an actor. And I guess I've done so many movies I've achieved some high visibility. But a star? I guess I still think of myself as kind of a worker ant.
- Bill Vaughn - In Old Age
|
Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man's lifetime income - which he then spends sending his son to college.
- Bill Vaughn - In Old Age
|
Man is the animal that intends to shoot himself out into interplanetary space, after having given up on the problem of an efficient way to get himself five miles to work and back each day.
- Bill Vaughn - In Old Age
|
Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking.
- Bill Vaughn - In Old Age
|
Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.
- Bill Vaughn - In Society
|
