Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
- Mark Twain - In Old Age
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Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.
- Mark Twain - In Old Age
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In certain trying circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity furnishes a relief denied even to prayer.
- Mark Twain - In Anger
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When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain - In Anger
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It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
- Mark Twain - In Business
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Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
- Mark Twain - In Business
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We are chameleons, and our partialities and prejudices change place with an easy and blessed facility, and we are soon wonted to the change and happy in it.
- Mark Twain - In On Change
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I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain - In Mortality
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The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.
- Mark Twain - In Mortality
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All say, "How hard it is that we have to die" - a strange complaint to come from the mouths of people who have had to live.
- Mark Twain - In Mortality
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In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
- Mark Twain - In Education
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We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again - and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.
- Mark Twain - In Experience
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A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
- Mark Twain - In Experience
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Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heal that has crushed it.
- Mark Twain - In Forgiveness
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There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
- Mark Twain - In Humor
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The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.
- Mark Twain - In History
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Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritation and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.
- Mark Twain - In Humor
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Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
- Mark Twain - In Humor
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Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.
- Mark Twain - In Humor
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You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
- Mark Twain - In Imagination
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I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.
- Mark Twain - In Intelligence
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Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
- Mark Twain - In Life
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When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
- Mark Twain - In Life
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Each man must for himself alone decide what is right and what is wrong, which course is patriotic and which isn't. You cannot shirk this and be a man. To decide against your conviction is to be an unqualified and excusable traitor, both to yourself and to your country, let me label you as they may.
- Mark Twain - In Patriotism
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Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain - In Politics
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Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.
- Mark Twain - In Politics
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We had the sky up there, all speckled with stars, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss about whether they was made or only just happened.
- Mark Twain - In Religion
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But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
- Mark Twain - In Religion
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There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.
- Mark Twain - In Science
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Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.
- Mark Twain - In Workplace
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